Here I write another piece of my journey!!
HEALING is a term that made sense to me even as a child. Perhaps not with much clarity, rather back then it was more like being helpful. Although I must admit it wasn’t easy to be kind keeping in mind the early unknown competitions one is subjected to. The memories as they flood back, bring along a series of flashes to me which must have been difficult to comprehend then. I remember once in school we were asked to write good qualities in us, and I couldn’t think of any in me. Till my mother reminded me that I’m kind & helpful. That rings a bell!!
As a young woman I was quite done with the traditional norms & was looking for a deeper meaning into life. Looking for alternatives, I started visiting un-conventional spaces like Alcoholic-Anonymous – had hours of sessions with my sponsor, then I would read a lot, and would do volunteering in democratic non-hierarchical professional set ups; perhaps they were my initial schooling into listening to myself. In 2004, I got a job in a Healing Center, the founder of the organization was my first contact with the spiritual ecstasy. The initial weeks at my workplace introduced me to my deformed Sexual Self. I did a lot of catharsis for some peace to prevail in my being. Since then I have been very fortunate to be with Teacher’s, Guides, Masters in Ashrams across India & Abroad!!
From the onset of this life-time, I have been fortunate to experience a thin line between spiritual discipline & Religious beliefs. My religious belief taught me to practicing Non-violence, although the extremists in modern India will not agree & will resort to violence to establish its supremacy contrary to the Vedic scriptures that teach reverence tolerance. I have come to understand that Violence is a deep Samskara to be overcome in order to comprehend the final source of light. Just like a phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor so does man must arise out of his own misery to be re-born. It is said that Earth plane is a Wish-fulfilling realm which means that anything that this body-mind wants can be manifested on the earth plane; explaining the importance of achieving a human form after 64 lakh yoni births.
Implying that we mortal beings have the power to arise from the violence & the endless blind passion of the sensory realm. Perhaps all we need is the WILL & blessings of a Master. And when both these conditions are fulfilled then time is not a binding factor, as Osho says then the source can appear NOW. If we want to believe in the karmic theory then our life situations and relationships are the result of a karmic debt of some past life and this karmic debt can be terminated through a spiritual Practice under a Guru. The vow to achieve complete freedom, Nirvana can be accomplished in this very moment. The path is tough but not impossible. What one man can do, the other can also do. All we need is a WILL to let go of the innate human tendencies of Greed, violence, lust, rage, sloth, envy & pride.
My personal inner journey was deepening with every relationship I had whether with a partner or within family/friends. Soon I began to see a direct co-relation between relationship and power. It was eye opening to realize that what we term a successful relationship is actually a power play. And the best friends of Power are greed and violence. Since a young age I was somehow made the scapegoat for other people’s devilish plans. I took the brunt. Violence is in many forms – emotional violence, mental torture, sexual violence, and of course physical violence. And believe me you, most of us experience one of this violence. So, for me too, relationships were about exerting power yet the only difference was I was the victim of violence. Hence I found refuge in my spiritual community.
Soham Healing studio, flourishes to her maximum potential, and sky is the limit.
In next series I Shall be describing more of my personal healing journey along with shaping of my work.
Your comments & queries are welcome
In celebration
Sahaya Jeevan
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